On a Mission Fall 2018

by KIM STOKES WILLIAMS So many times during my walk with Christ, many of the valleys that I journeyed through have left me questioning many things. Does God really love me, why does this have to hurt so much, did I do something wrong, what can I do to fix it and are you mad at me God? As He has accompanied me through these many ups and downs, I have experienced and learned many things about my heavenly Father. I have made mistakes but none of them were unexpected to Him and He used them in spite of myself to work all things together for my good. The past 7 years of my life have been difficult, similar to the trout swimming upstream at times. A lot of times I felt like I was getting nowhere or falling back a little during my struggle to swim upstream. I’ve lost a loved one unexpectedly, a son incarcerated, changed careers temporarily, started a business, my husband having a se- vere illness unexpectedly and many more to just name a few. Through all of this I felt like I was sitting at the ocean side while wave upon wave relentlessly engulfed me and my very breath. But God….. As I struggled through those life situations, God made Himself more evident to me than I could ever have known. When Christ said, “Be of good cheer, I have overcome the world”, the Father brought that scripture to life for me and truly showed me how to “overcome” the world. I have not been perfect at this as I am a human and can’t get away from the natural emotional responses that come with such intensity and un- able to understand the “Why.” Through all of this the enemy attempted to bring relentless attack in my heart and mind trying to make me believe that I did something wrong or that God didn’t really love me. Oh he is such a liar!! As the struggles continued, God only served to draw closer to me and help me to draw closer to Him. He reminded me that He would be glo- rified if I could continue to seek and praise Him through the midst of the trials and temptations and so I did and continue to do so. Often I think we question “Why me God” and the Holy Spirit revealed to me through a pastor that Job expe- rienced so much more and that God allowed it. So why Job? As I listened to the Pastor’s mes- sage, he directed me to the question, “Why did God allow His servant Job to suffer in such a way?” He stated, “Think about it!” He allowed Job to go through what he did because He knew Job’s heart and knew that Job would continue to praise and be faithful to Him regardless of what Job’s family, friends, or strangers said to him about our Father. Job knew that the Father truly loved him, knew his heart and Job trusted without regard. Our Father chose Job as the ex- ample for a few reasons. One, to show us how to continue to trust and praise Him in the midst of The Big Pi 24 | FALL 2018 ON A MISSION womenonamission.net